Day 13 – Gift

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Colossians 3:12-14

I’ve got 2 kids. My son is 8 and my daughter is 6. Generally, they are the best of friends and get along wonderfully. Every once in a while, though, they cross that proverbial line and get on each other’s nerves. Given enough time and not enough parental intervention, they can get just mean to each other. At this point my wife or I will step in. Usually we’ll try to track down what the problem is, who started it and who, if anyone, needs a consequence. Once we lay down the house rules again and remind them how we treat each other as a family, we will then ask the offender to apologize for the crime. The other child’s response, which by now is driven into both our children’s psyche, comes out automatically – “I forgive you.” Because one of our fundamental house rules is that you always make it right and you always forgive the other person.

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all followed that rule?

Imagine what it would be like if we functioned with that kind of attitude. Whenever someone offended us, they would come and make it right and our natural response would be, “I forgive you.” Or if we said or did something to someone, we would go make it right and their natural response would be, “I forgive you.” Wouldn’t the world just be…better?

But it seems like in real life there is a disconnect somewhere along the way. Someone offends us and our natural reaction is to hold a grudge. Or we offend someone else and our natural reaction is to not make it right – after all, they probably deserved it. Feelings get hurt; things go left unsaid; things not only don’t get better…they get worse. We end up in a cycle of trying to figure out who should be the one making it right and who should be the one forgiving. And round and round it goes. To quote the great theologian, George Jetson, “Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!”

Paul reminds the Church that while the world acts like this, followers of Jesus don’t. He says that the children of God should be people of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. That we should be the first to forgive, even when they don’t ask for it. And when the measure is drawn out as to how much we should forgive, it is always measured against how much Jesus has forgiven us. No grudges. No make ups. Just forgiveness.

Over the last several years, I have adopted a saying that has become my motto in life: Own what’s mine and forgive what’s their’s. We should recognize that some of the problem in the relationship is probably ours, and we should own it. And then we should realize that they are just as human and fallen and frail as we are, and we should forgive their part…without them asking for it. Since I have adopted that motto, I find that I am living my life more content and more free than ever before. I don’t get as frustrated with people when they fail me, knowing that at some point I fail people. I don’t hold grudges against people, knowing that at some point I will need grace and forgiveness. So when we choose to do this, we give them a gift. The gift of forgiveness. We don’t hold their sin over them anymore. We release them of our need for them to make it right. That way if they choose to make it right…great. If they choose not to…great. We win both ways. And in this one small way, we demonstrate that we understand how much Jesus has forgiven us.

Own what’s yours. Forgive what’s their’s. It’s the greatest gift you can give…and receive.

As you pray today, let these thoughts spur you into deeper communion with God.

• Thank God that through Jesus, He has provided you with complete and total forgiveness for all of your sin; past, present and future.
• Thank God that He not only has forgiven you, but He has also given you the power to forgive others.
• Ask God to give you the strength and power to own what’s yours and to forgive what’s their’s.
• Ask God if there is any relationship that you need to make right and to give you the opportunity to go make it right.
• Ask God to reveal to you anyone in your life that you have not forgiven and to give you the opportunity to forgive them…even if they don’t ask for it.
• Thank God for the gift of forgiveness He has given you and ask Him to help you consistently give that gift to other people.